If you are the parent of a child with a developmental disability then you are fully aware of the constant struggle of raising a child who is different. If you are a parent who has the other parent present in the child’s life then you know that you are in an advantageous position but that you are not always in a comfortable position. Raising a child is hard enough with someone else’s input but when a child is helpless enough that you must make every decision it can be frustrating having someone else put their nose into the child’s business.
The problem it seems would stem from the idea of a differing philosophy. Every parent wants the best for their child but not every parent understands fully what is best for the child. It’s a subjective question that gets more muddied as you deal with a child whose input is either non-existant or unreliable. This puts added pressure on you and the other parent not to make a mistake. With that kind of pressure there is bound to be a overload of feelings.
Parenting in general is all about compromise, which appears to be even more important when living in a household with a disabled child. This is not a time for blame, its a time to make sure the child is properly cared for and is living the most normal life possible. Focus on what the child needs most, medical care, education, and a healthy social life. Medical care should be pretty easy, shop around for free insurance quotes to see which insurance company will best fit your child’s needs as well as your own. For their education and social life search the net, there is always a mom’s group that will be able to help you set up play dates, suggest group events, and which school cater to a child’s specific needs.
The questions for a child with developmental disabilities take on a much greater importance when you consider the little room for error. Taking school for instance is a big one. Kids go to school to get an education and if the wrong school is chosen the child can rise above it and learn anyway or they can transfer or even finish and go somewhere else later in life. A child with a disability is learning so they can function just a bit better and take a little bit of stress of you both. Keeping these things in mind and understanding why the disagreements are bigger and harder to get past can be a key in making things better before they get worse for both of you.